Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
