There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
