Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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