do herpes really smell.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
