I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
