I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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