i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
