I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
