stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
