Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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