I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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