hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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