I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
