i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
