Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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