I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
too bad you live with your parents still
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
