I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
