Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
its not stalking. its research.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
