I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
