Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
