glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
