i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just had sex on a roof
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
