Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize