omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
