You're completely useless in the revolution.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
