Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
