at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
