Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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