Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
