Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
