That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
