I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
so much tequila, so little girl.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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