every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
