grandma shit on top of the toilet
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Boobs are out for the taking
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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