It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
