We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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