Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
