had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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