I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
