That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
