let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
