Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize