i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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