I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
