ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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