After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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