what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
