Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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