cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize