Small penises have feelings too.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
