I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
