Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize