grandma shit on top of the toilet
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
