her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
