so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
