Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize