I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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