So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
