Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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