I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
