You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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