Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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