I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize