I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
