honey bunches of taint.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
