I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize