moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Success! We fucked roommates!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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