Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
