What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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