We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
