Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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