420 ftw
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
