the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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