this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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