Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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