I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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