Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
