Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize