if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
