either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
