Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
